i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
