Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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