Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
