I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize