just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
