smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
