He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
