Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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