I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think your dad took our porno
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
