Can Purell be used as lube?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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