I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
