I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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