My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hippo gnu deer
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
