Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
