im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
