Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
