I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
