i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
