gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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