"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
