i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
