I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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