do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
