Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
