I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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