I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
