the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
