no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
