Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
