dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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