ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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