Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
