To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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