i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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