He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to fling myself into the sun
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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