Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
