So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
