We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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