do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
