he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hippo gnu deer
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
