I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
