i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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