South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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