She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
