I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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