I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
sex in a hospital.. check
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
