Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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