I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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