I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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