kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
