I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize