i barfeds in our rink
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
BRING THE BAGELS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
