Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and she was petting her beer can
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
