I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
