Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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