if you like me you must not know who I am
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
