Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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