If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
