for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
