Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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