listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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