I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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