Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize