The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
