I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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