too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
