Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
