If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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