do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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