I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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